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Apr. 5th, 2012 05:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elle_white This post is a little jumbled, but I've been thinking about attitudes towards women and feminism, and I just wanted to get my thoughts out in the open.
I saw a post today on tumblr about the "PR Problems" with feminism. One person did a very good job calling bullshit on that. And it really struck a chord with me. Of course it's understandable that some women hate men. I've never judged anyone for disliking men, but I have felt guilty for feeling hate for them.
Well, hate is probably too strong a word for. But after getting out of a relationship with a Nice Guy, and being harassed on more than one occasion, I am uncomfortable around men. I'd categorize my feelings towards men in general as emotional weariness and frustration. I get along well with my dad, male family friends and a few guy friends. But I don't like the company of most men because of their their entitlement. I'm tired of men smiling and talking to me condescendingly. I'm tired guys harassing me when I'm out and just want to have a good time with my friends. I'm tired of being made to feel inferior.
But feminists are often shamed as man haters. And Women who don't like men are often made to look bad in the media, or at least that they need the "right guy" to change them. And those sorts of attitudes have made me feel bad for my general discomfort around guys. I've tried to say I shouldn't feel that way. That I should just play down their behaviour and dismiss it as "boys will be boys." Society discourages women from feeling anger in general.
I was really disappointed when Young Justice creator, Greg Weisman dismissed the idea that Wally West was sexually harassing M'gann. He said that the fact that Wally constantly hits M'gann was just a "misunderstanding." Weisman attitude in that interview came off as really dismissive to me. And, Wally continues to hit on M'Gann even after he finds out she's in a relationship, and he hits on nearly every women he meets. The way Wally acts around women, reminds of the creepy and condescending way guys have treated me and many other women I know. But apparently, we're not supposed to take it too seriously.
My family and friends are supportive of my disinterest in guys. Except for one well-intentioned friend who once advised that I "shouldn't give up" on relationships with guys because of bad experiences. I explained that I just don't care any more. I mean, if I meet a non-douchie guy I liked through someone I trust, that would be nice. But it's not something of importance to me.
Sailor Moon is one the few pieces of media that doesn't shame women for not liking dudes. Rei Hino/Sailor Mars doesn't like men at all (at least in the manga version) and she's never shamed for it or reformed. When I see things like that, or read posts like the linked above, I realize that it's okay to be hurt over the privileged attitude of many guys, that it's okay to feel frustrated and angry. It doesn't make me a bad person.
I saw a post today on tumblr about the "PR Problems" with feminism. One person did a very good job calling bullshit on that. And it really struck a chord with me. Of course it's understandable that some women hate men. I've never judged anyone for disliking men, but I have felt guilty for feeling hate for them.
Well, hate is probably too strong a word for. But after getting out of a relationship with a Nice Guy, and being harassed on more than one occasion, I am uncomfortable around men. I'd categorize my feelings towards men in general as emotional weariness and frustration. I get along well with my dad, male family friends and a few guy friends. But I don't like the company of most men because of their their entitlement. I'm tired of men smiling and talking to me condescendingly. I'm tired guys harassing me when I'm out and just want to have a good time with my friends. I'm tired of being made to feel inferior.
But feminists are often shamed as man haters. And Women who don't like men are often made to look bad in the media, or at least that they need the "right guy" to change them. And those sorts of attitudes have made me feel bad for my general discomfort around guys. I've tried to say I shouldn't feel that way. That I should just play down their behaviour and dismiss it as "boys will be boys." Society discourages women from feeling anger in general.
I was really disappointed when Young Justice creator, Greg Weisman dismissed the idea that Wally West was sexually harassing M'gann. He said that the fact that Wally constantly hits M'gann was just a "misunderstanding." Weisman attitude in that interview came off as really dismissive to me. And, Wally continues to hit on M'Gann even after he finds out she's in a relationship, and he hits on nearly every women he meets. The way Wally acts around women, reminds of the creepy and condescending way guys have treated me and many other women I know. But apparently, we're not supposed to take it too seriously.
My family and friends are supportive of my disinterest in guys. Except for one well-intentioned friend who once advised that I "shouldn't give up" on relationships with guys because of bad experiences. I explained that I just don't care any more. I mean, if I meet a non-douchie guy I liked through someone I trust, that would be nice. But it's not something of importance to me.
Sailor Moon is one the few pieces of media that doesn't shame women for not liking dudes. Rei Hino/Sailor Mars doesn't like men at all (at least in the manga version) and she's never shamed for it or reformed. When I see things like that, or read posts like the linked above, I realize that it's okay to be hurt over the privileged attitude of many guys, that it's okay to feel frustrated and angry. It doesn't make me a bad person.
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on 2012-04-05 06:54 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2012-04-06 01:07 am (UTC)no subject
on 2012-04-06 06:30 pm (UTC)